I was pretty confident until Tuesday evening that I was pregnant. I’ve been pregnant multiple times before. I know what it feels like, I know it is so difficult for me to keep my eyes open, I know how my stomach bloats and how I actually look differently. Maybe that sounds crazy, but I just know.  Except for last night…I wasn’t as tired anymore, I didn’t feel or look like I have in the past and I feel pretty normal, with a side ache and a little spotting.

It makes me sad, cringe, wonder, worry.  I am struggling to be upbeat and happy.  I am praying these sweet little ones get to see mama and let me love them, provide for them, and introduce them to the most awesome dad on earth.  I just don’t feel like that is going to happen.  Hoping and praying I’m wrong and doing my best to find understanding if I am correct.

Honestly, this waiting game kind of sucks and I know tomorrow will be more difficult.