Tag: life

3 months & 32 months

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How did we get here?  Little Miss Ryken is 3 months old today and Zayden is over 2.5 years old (yes I had to count the months to figure it out bc I have up counting months awhile back!)

Ryken is smiling every day.  Cooing all the time, sitting in her lion chair, holding her head up really well and officially rolled over for the first time today!  She’s been pretty content just chilling and letting us move her until today.  She loves to swim in our little pool, riding in car rides is a breeze, and sleeping is her thing (thankfully)!

Zayden is still is curious, adventurous, smart little self. He still is a bit particular when it comes to the food he wants to eat. He traces his name and words really well, starting to color inside the lines, loves to create things and is a little obsessed with excavators and tractors. He takes all information we give him and can repeat it a month later – this kiddo surprises me every day. We’ve been working on reading and I wouldn’t be surprised if he could read some by the time he turns 3. He could step up his sports game a little, but he will get there if he wants eventually (currently, he thinks a basketball is a football and a baseball is a basketball). He loves his sis but still wants momma’s attention when I give her too much! 😂🤷 And he loves to swim in his pool & the lake, so much so we can’t get him out of the water most days. He even got to tube with his cousin and me and all he wanted to do was, “Go faster.”

Last month, we got to see zebras, Ryken met her great grandma Jackie, and finally got to see Ryken’s grandparents (Papa & Grammie Vinson). This meant travelling 11 hours by car to New Mexico during pandemic was interesting but we did it! They both actually did really well! ❤️🚗 We also got to shoot off huge fireworks thanks to the Qualls family; Ryken slept through most of them and Zayden loved them as long as he was wearing his headphones 😂

Life is still fairly quarantined with a little more outside life but staying at a safe and cautious distance! We are ready for things to be a little more normal but we’ve learned this may just be our new normal. Our children may never step in a store again or eat inside a restaurant for quite some time, maybe they will not blink an eye when they get to school age and have to wear masks all the time. Who knows, but we are loving life with them no matter what type of restrictions life gives us.

We are so grateful for our two cuties and praying to continue to stay healthy, happy and as rested as we can!

Zayden in a Pandemic

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I had no intention of posting again til after little sis was born, but this blog started with our infertility journey to Zayden and I want to continue to document our journey for both of them. So, I have to document this chaos happening in today’s world and what it’s like pregnant and for a toddler.

Zayden doesn’t really get what’s going on, I mean he’s 2 ha, but it has affected his every day life (in a very minimal way).  He misses his buddy Hayden and we have been keeping our distance from neighbors and no one has come into the house besides his (also isolated) nanny some days. He doesn’t understand why he can’t see his Gammie and Papaw and he definitely wants to see his Uncle Will, Aunt, B, and Lima but has been content enough with video calls for the time being.  No parks, no swimming at Bentonville Community Center, no shopping at Target (this kid may not love shopping at Target, but LOVES LOVES running the aisles).  In fact, he loves it so much, we used to take him there purely to burn off energy and for no real reason of actually getting anything. Ha. #parentsconfessions  No traveling to the lake or to play with his cousins and no church class. So life in his eyes has been more limited, but it also has given him his momma and daddy time, which is all he’s really concerned with.

This time has been filled with lots of painting, coloring chalk all over the driveway and a little on the garage door.  So many walks around the neighborhood, looking for worms and puddles to splash in, and playing in the backyard with the dogs, etc.  Thankfully, this pandemic has come at a time where we want to be home more with Zayden anyways and I’ve limited my work significantly being in the 9th month of pregnancy.  However, knowing I was going to spend more time at home doesn’t make it less difficult finding ways to keep a toddler entertained easily day in and day out.  When we have a rough morning of meltdowns, we get discouraged about not having enough to do, but quickly reminded all you really need is that love from the parents to get you through the tougher times.  And we are grateful we are able to be there for him.

Of course this has affected our daily activities and chores as well, like never did I think I’d be wiping down our groceries before bringing them into the house or going days upon days without seeing my family (for those than know us, that’s really surprising), nor did I think we wouldn’t be allowing anyone into the house after sis is born for awhile and this has been new adjustment.  And I didn’t think we’d be postponing weddings/sessions left and right due to restrictions.  Yet, my mind is set to be thankful.  Thankful for this pandemic and more time to spend with Zayden.  Of course, I’m not thankful for how the economy is being affected, lives are being lost, people starting to turn on each other over TP or more hate crimes because they think another race is purposefully trying to spread the virus, or parents and individuals are experiencing firsts in a way they never thought they’d have to.  But this has given us time to step back and really embrace being in the moments and not being caught up in the hustle and bustle of being here or there.  And just taking the moments to breathe in (cautiously and within a safe distance from everyone else) and being present.

Continuing prayers for everyone, especially all the soon to be parents are healthy and those sweet babes are being born healthy, the immunocompromised, and those on the front lines during this difficult time.  And lifting up those that have lost loved ones.  I never imagined experiencing something like this, but we are in it and hoping for an end soon.  Til then, enjoying our sweet baby boy and last few days before we become a family of four.

Also – if you’re interested in following Zayden’s journey during this quarantined lifestyle – here’s a few images or follow his Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zaydengray/

 

8.5 Months in a Pandemic

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What a weird world we’re living in right now… Weird as in eery and questionable.  Being 37 weeks pregnant is interesting.  I generally am not a germaphobe. We wash our hands, hand sanitize regularly and try not to lick walls, but some of us in the family can’t always abide by these general common sense rules. Zayden finds it hard to work within these rules when he is playing pretend kitty cat. Anyways, when the CDC and my Dr. recommend isolating yourself and you find out you’ll be separated from baby girl if you get COVID-19, things start to hit the nerves a little more than I wanted.

I went in for 37 week check up this morning, greeted at the door to answer questions and have my temperature taken.  All precautions I appreciate being done to keep me as well as others safe, but my fear was slightly heightened after walking by the closed offices with health warning signs on the doors. Thankfully, my Dr office is taking every precaution and limiting the number of people in the office, delaying appointments that aren’t absolutely necessary and encouraging patients to come by themselves and not to mention getting people in and out as quickly as possible. That all said, I’m dilated to a 1, which doesn’t mean a ton to me because with Zayden I was dilated at a 1 for 3 weeks maybe?  Ha. Little sis is always extremely comfy and hasn’t dropped yet, so she may be content for a bit!  Likely, around end of 39 weeks we may induce, like we did with Zayden!

Although, it’s not how I envisioned the end of this pregnancy going.  I planned on nesting yes but being able to get last minute items for baby sis like most procrastinators like myself need time for.  We planned for Zayden coming to the hospital, meeting her and actually picking her name.  And we also didn’t stress about getting sick or not.  Now, we are isolated in the home, Zayden (or anyone besides Jason) doesn’t get to visit in the hospital, and unfortunately, if either of us gets sick with COVID, we have to stay away from baby until better.  THIS IS NOT WHAT WE PLANNED.  Which is laughable to an extent, because I know planning never happens as we aren’t in control, but my heart breaks a little with these extra precautions and fears that come up every day.  What you can do – pray just for this virus to slow down and we all stay healthy and away from it, not just me, all of us.  Of course, I know that if it does happen and I or Jason have to be isolated from baby, we will survive (physically, mentally is a different story) and we know that there are much bigger cases and issues going on in the world that us, but the first moments with our sweet baby girl we don’t want to see her being wheeled away to be isolated from us.

Hopefully, my next update is baby sis will be here and healthy!  But in the meantime, I’ll leave you with these sweet maternity photos by none other than, Vinson Images

Ps. Zayden still can’t decide between the names Brexton, Becklee, Ryken or Baby Box.

17 & 18 months

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Wow, what a past couple of months it has been! Our little boy is becoming the sweetest little man I could have ever asked for. Of course, he’s ornery as can be but that’s what keeps me on my toes! ❤️

We didn’t add any new travel to Zayden’s list this month, but within the last month was the first time I left Zayden with someone else for over 24 hours, let alone traveled across the US for 4 nights. It was so sad (for me) but he seemed to be content with my family keeping him busy!

I can’t even keep track of all the new words he says because every day it’s something different. Like today I told him to “Get Down” (off the table because safety kid) but he looks at me and said get down. 😂 He hasn’t been putting multiple words together until the past couple of days and it’s really throwing me off guard!

Zayden, you know a few colors: purple, blue, white, black and nana (which is translation for yellow)

Also, a few letters (and there is no rhyme or reason to these letters but for some reason you know them: B, Z, Y, O, D, S, and sometimes you’ll actually get A right, but still working on the rest of the alphabet.

You know a ton of numbers but you think they are all 2. 😂😂 So we have a little work to do in that department.

You’re going through a picky eating stage, but a few things stay consistent like yogurt (your fave), oranges, blueberries,PBJ, beans, sushi, shrimp, sweet potatoes, cheese sticks mac-n-cheese, cheese quesdillas, cheese enchilada, grilled cheese…see a trend? Recently mama has gotten smart and started making “cheese” home made hot pockets but hiding veggies in them which surprisingly works.

We are done breastfeeding. Whaaaat. I’ve kept a little more quiet about breastfeeding up until 17.5 months because honestly I was tired of people’s comments. “You haven’t cut him off yet?” Etc etc etc. Y’all should be applauding any mama for feeding their child let alone nursing for this long! But that part of our journey is over and you did great with it bub!

You still love to read and paint and color everything! Thankfully, we got smart and got you those magic markers that only color on certain things!

Every day I am blown away by what new thing you’ve learned or can say or do. I’m also blown away how high you can climb in seconds. 🤦 You’re going to give me a heart attack before I’m 34, but this is what I’m told boy life is like! And we love every single minute of it.

So proud and thankful to be your mama.

“Maybe that someone else is looking for us.” | Adoption things

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Let’s talk adoption. It’s literally been on my mind every day for the past 4+ years. I’ve gone back and forth sharing this but I just keep going through things in my head and if you know me, it’s a complete mess up there so sometimes it’s best for me to write out my thoughts. So let’s do this…

Adoption has always been a constant tug at our hearts. For me, this leads back all the way to my highschool days when I decided adoption was going to be apart of my path. Thankfully, I met this awesome guy and one of our first date questions was… How do you feel about adoption? His response was he hadn’t thought about it but he definitely would. So to say adoption has been on our hearts for awhile is an understatement.

We’ve been through adoption process once with a lousy agency that we ended up having to drop and started over with a new one. This was beyond frustrating and exhausting. You feel like you’re trying to change the world one life at a time and the odds are against you every step of the way. Paperwork upon paperwork, FBI fingerprint cards (that can only be done on Tuesday mornings from 8-10 am at a location 20 min away and every time you schedule to go something comes up) more paperwork, some dinero you’ve been saving, more paperwork, physicals, drug tests, home studies, collecting references, making emergency plans, and more paperwork is what the process consists of basically, and alot of patience and prayers.

We decided it was best to move forward with another agency and start over. This agency we felt much more confident in, but of courss there was a little hesitation in trusting the process again. About a year go, we started wondering if we were going down the right path, we knew adoption was apart of our path but was this agency right for us? Maybe we were supposed to look into another? Maybe? What was God telling us? So we decided to take a break from the process and decided to just listen and see what He laid out for us. We explored different agencies and fell in love with a smaller one, but then hit a wall. We were actually turned down for the time being, because we had a child under the age of one. Besides this being completely baffling to me, this was God telling us to keep looking elsewhere. We listened some more. All we could hear was adoption? adoption? fostering? adoption? And after each one, we heard question marks, which left us a little confused, so we continued to take the time we needed to discern. We explored the world of fostering and we both feel that’s likely apart of our journey in the future but not just yet. Adoption just keeps powerfully being told to us. We always knew it was apart of the journey, but through who, why was this fantastic agency we’ve worked with not standing out to us?

I continue to feel a little one wants us. I feel it everyday, I literally have that gut feeling in this exact moment. Is there someone feeling something similar? Is there a young mom or dad looking for a family like us to let us adopt their child? Maybe? Maybe we adopt through this agency but maybe not. God knows and I just can’t seem to understand. God also knows I don’t always listen real well and sometimes I can be a bit stubborn, so He probably is telling me I just don’t seem to follow. We’ll keep listening though, patiently.

In the meantime, I will continue to share the journey God has given us. And maybe, just maybe you’re hearing a voice telling you to share our story with someone else. Maybe that someone else is looking for us. ❤️

16ish months

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The days are moving faster and I feel like less time is being spent with Zayden. Probably not, but it seems like he just doesn’t need as much attention from us as he did when he was a wee little baby. He’s climbing up into the chair by himself, eating by himself (when he chooses to eat and not throw it on the floor), picks books up and reads them to himself…or really just points out the animals he likes best. He throws trash away, and sometimes the remote, my cell phone, basically anything that can go in the trash can does. 😂

Zayden says more and more words every single day and it blows me away the amount of information he takes in. He truly is our little miracle and he shows us that every single day!

Some new things we have done the past month is:

Travel to Hawaii, it took me 34 years to make it to HI and you got to in your first 2 years!

First haircut – which was super terrible, so you also got your second haircut the following day 😂

Mastering the stairs like the little climber you are!

First dentist appointment which went surprisingly well and you received an great report from them!

Sleeping has gone from not bad to beyond pitiful but we are patient and will continue to love on you on bad nights. It will pass and we know it.

This has been a good month bub, as every month is with you. ❤️ Now let’s reminisce on this haircut transformation! Where did my little boy go?

10 Months – What? How!

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Oh my word you are growing and growing you are not so little man! 10 months?! Let me say that again so it sinks in…10 months have flown by and I can’t believe in 2 months we will be holding a one-year old!

Some changes have happened over the past month, but you became boss man to me, which means mama won’t be home as late as she normally is! Other changes you’ve been going through are:

  • A couple of steps here and there, but not full on walking yet. I assume that’ll happen when we forget you can actually walk! 😂
  • Peek-a-boo & chasing mom/dad are still your jam.
  • Ollie has become your favorite pup.
  • 1 1/2 new teeth have been added to your collection.
  • Your athletic ability is really coming out – stacking things, throwing balls (or throwing anything for that matter), and crawling through tunnels.
  • We are officially on watch for an attempted escapist. Once, you pushed the kitchen chair all the way to the door just to attempt to unlock the door. Not thrilled about this new trick, but pretty cute!
  • Your booty dance is on point. 😂
  • We took your 12th flight and traveled all the way to San Francisco to see the Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz, Muir Woods, Big Sur, first zoo and aquarium and subway ride. And I can’t forget to mention meeting with friends you’ve never had a chance to meet til this month! We actually got to celebrate your 10 month with ice cream and hanging out with the Joneses!
  • You’re starting to become more cuddly and wanting to lay down with us without us trying to force a nap. This is a moment we don’t want to forget. All these are moments we don’t want to forget!

Zayden, you are such a blessing to everyone you meet and I cannot imagine life without you! I can’t wait to see what the next month brings us!

Update on life

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Whew, life has been a whirlwind. Just a quick little update on just {life} in general. Two big things we have been working on and keeping to ourselves for the most part, but sharing because there is no such thing as too much prayer! 😊

1. Adoption – we are still moving forward and excited each and every day but also overwhelmed at times. Overwhelmed with paperwork, waiting, paperwork, waiting, home study, waiting, classes, waiting, more paperwork and waiting…see the trend? 😊 We all know the wait is worth it but prayers as we continue to go down this road are appreciated! I strongly feel there is a child out there waiting for us to scoop them up but we know there is a plan and we just have to wait for it, do our part and wait a little longer til the time is right! Some dear friends of ours were matched with a child and we are so so excited that they will be taking home their little one likely in August! Ah! So it is continued prayers, patience, hope and listening to God and His plan that keeps us going through the wait!

2. We did a little thing. We decided to go back to our doctor in KC and just get ourselves checked to see if we wanted to do IVF again in the future, that we could. We received fantastic news that we are more than healthy enough to do it again (if we choose to in the future), and let me be clear…we may not but we didn’t like not knowing if that door was still open or not. So again, we’d appreciate prayers for patience and discernment as we figure out if this is something we should try again. We unfortunately have no frozen embryos so we have to start from scratch, meaning all the shots, all the meds, all the hot flashes and injecting hormones and emotions all over again. It isn’t a decision we will take lightly.

Anyways, we love for prayers to be rained over us as we continue to balance life with Z, adoption, and determine if IVF will be in our future or not. Thank you friends for following us on our journey, your support and love has overwhelmed us! ❤️