Tag: Motherhood

Living with a 1-Year Old

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Life has been crazy keeping up with a 1-year old! I still can’t believe he has grown so much and developed are sweet and ORNERY personality! Everyone that hangs out with Z talks about how sweet he is, what they don’t always get to witness is the crazy side of him. I mean, as I am typing this he has accidentally given me a black eye from “fake falling” on my face. lol

It’s been a little exhausting keeping up lately. Teething has taken over our nights and early mornings which has led to minimal sleep again, but that will pass soon (or so I hope)😴

Some new things little man has been doing this month is running around nonstop, being more interactive most of the time vs not, picking up his messes but making them more than not, and being extra affectionate which I will take a sloppy kiss from that sweet boy any day! ♥️. He has also said a few more words so we wanted to write them down to remember them! Of course the norm, like mom and dad and bubba (whoever that is):

Bubbles

Butt bomb (haha, is that a bad word?)

Della

Water

Baseball

Bath

Della (apparently she’s his favorite)

Backpack

Jesus – thank you to some kids songs the says this with conviction!

Yes

Baby

Woah

And a few others I can’t seem to think of…

Keeping up with a 1-year old brings a whole different level of love, happiness, patience, joy…all of which we just are reminded daily that he is worth every second. Thank you God for giving us such a sweet, ornery boy in our lives.

1 Year Old | Zayden Gray | My Superman

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Over a year ago, we sat in a hospital room talking to our doctor about how we only had 2 embryos that have survived and they were so poor they couldn’t even rate them. They asked us if we wanted to proceed forward and try anyways… With no real hope, we prayed over those 2 embryos every day and today we have a healthy 1-year old. Cue the tears 😭.

What a superhero, little miracle, blessing from God you are Zayden Gray. We have spent 365 days with you in our arms or chasing you around. You have kept us on our toes each and every day as we figure out this whole parenting thing!

We have gone through so many firsts with you, firsts that I normally wouldn’t think twice about but we have cherished every single one. I can’t wait to see how the rest of our future goes together! ♥️

A few things you’ve learned this month:

Learned how to climb a ladder

Being more affectionate, especially with the puppies. They love Z’s hugs & kisses

Say a few new random words (backpack, phone, baseball)

Going up & down stairs 😬 which happens to be your new fave game.

Causing destruction

More teeth – molars this time!

Being a little daredevil 😬😬

Using utensils

And the best part …starting to look like your mama! ♥️

Your first year in pictures:

11 Months | Zayden Gray

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I just can’t….you are growing up way too fast little man! Today you are 11 months and we will be celebrating your first birthday before we know it!

We started this month off in California but stayed close to home for the rest of the month, besides a quick trip to hang with your cousin John while we did a shoot in Kansas City. God was looking out for our schedule this month because we spent most of it passing a little sickness around. Luckily, you managed to break away from it after a couple of days.

This month you’ve really been trying to master your walk. You choose to walk most places, unless you need to get there fast and you stick with your power crawl 😂. Some other things new you’ve been doing this month:

*Kick and throw balls

*Say “mmmmmm” when you really love your food, but you close your eyes and say it, which makes it even cuter.

*Says, “I love you” or it sounds really close!

*You can find your ears, nose, toes and private parts but I’m pretty sure all boys don’t have an issue finding them.

*You still only recognize dogs, cows and birds as animals, apparently they are your favorite.

*We made our first trip to the Amazeum which was fun overload for you!

*We did our first painting, and I must say you’re quite the artist! 😊

*Ollie and Della are your favorite puppies this month but you really want Charlie to be your best friend. Maybe one day…

*You give hugs & kisses way more frequently and it just melts this Mama’s heart! You can never get enough of those, especially when they aren’t asked for but just random ones. ♥️

I can’t help but remember how long the process was to get you. We struggled for so long for you. You may not be our only little man but you are the only one we’ve gotten to hold, receive hugs and kisses from, and get to watch grow in front of our eyes. We are so thankful for you Zayden and cannot wait to see what tomorrow brings!

10 Months – What? How!

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Oh my word you are growing and growing you are not so little man! 10 months?! Let me say that again so it sinks in…10 months have flown by and I can’t believe in 2 months we will be holding a one-year old!

Some changes have happened over the past month, but you became boss man to me, which means mama won’t be home as late as she normally is! Other changes you’ve been going through are:

  • A couple of steps here and there, but not full on walking yet. I assume that’ll happen when we forget you can actually walk! 😂
  • Peek-a-boo & chasing mom/dad are still your jam.
  • Ollie has become your favorite pup.
  • 1 1/2 new teeth have been added to your collection.
  • Your athletic ability is really coming out – stacking things, throwing balls (or throwing anything for that matter), and crawling through tunnels.
  • We are officially on watch for an attempted escapist. Once, you pushed the kitchen chair all the way to the door just to attempt to unlock the door. Not thrilled about this new trick, but pretty cute!
  • Your booty dance is on point. 😂
  • We took your 12th flight and traveled all the way to San Francisco to see the Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz, Muir Woods, Big Sur, first zoo and aquarium and subway ride. And I can’t forget to mention meeting with friends you’ve never had a chance to meet til this month! We actually got to celebrate your 10 month with ice cream and hanging out with the Joneses!
  • You’re starting to become more cuddly and wanting to lay down with us without us trying to force a nap. This is a moment we don’t want to forget. All these are moments we don’t want to forget!

Zayden, you are such a blessing to everyone you meet and I cannot imagine life without you! I can’t wait to see what the next month brings us!

9 Months

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Hey little man, slowwww down! Zayden continues to make us smile each and every day! Recently, I went back and re-read the beginning of our blog, the beginning of our story and it just reminded me how much of a blessing he is!

Some new changes:

Standing up! This one is huge, he actually stands up when he’s distracted and will stand for awhile, but once he figures out he’s standing he falls to the ground like he isn’t ready just yet, but will be walking soon!

Sleep is our friend! Naps and bedtime have been fully embraced by you…so until next regression that is bound to come, we will enjoy our sleep with you!

We had to move your bed down a notch because you are master escape artist already and we didn’t want to give you more of an opportunity to escape. I’m not kidding – you have figured out how to open doors and drawers, and this morning you figured out how to climb on me to open outside door. So momma will be installing more complicated locks soon!

You love to dance, with us and on your own.

You’re a peek-a-boo champion. You’re so good, you even like to play peek-a-boo with yourself! 😂

Bottom lip manipulator – gosh, when did you get so good at this??

Speaking of that bottom lip, you’ve finally figured out what “No” means and you use your bottom lip appropriately. It works most of the time but I’m not going to tell you that.

Climbing stairs is your new hobby! Of course baby gates have been installed, but if we are with you we will let you master those stairs more.

Getting down (and on) the couch, bed, basically anything taller than you, you’re figuring out how to get on and off (feet first)

You are waking up on your own and patiently waiting (for the most part) for us to get you! And the sweet hugs first thing in the morning are my new favorite thing.

You traveled 8 hours in a car to KC to see your friends, Harlow & Kylie. This was a huge achievement because you have your carseat so much but you survived and we survived. And you loved playing with your friends!

Throwing a ball or anything that resembles a ball. Your aim is a wee bit off, but you’re loving playing fetch and tossing ball back and forth (especially with your cousins – they make things so much more fun!)

The dogs are still your best friends and they love you more every single day, it could be the food you throw at them on the daily, but you never know! 😂

You love your walker! On of your favorite games is running after us screaming as you try to catch us. I’m sure we look like a bunch of maniacs but it is sure fun bub!

Babble, babble, babble. I don’t know what you’re saying 99.9% of the time but you are confident in your speech! Ha.

Currently you are a little clingy to me but I’m enjoying every single moment. I know this time will pass and I’ll have to share more of your hugs with others, but until then I’ll just enjoy this time.

Kisses & Goodbyes – we’ve been working on kisses and goodbyes for a month or so and you’re a bit stingy with both!

You continue to be such a sweet, calm (mostly), chill little man and we really couldn’t have gotten any luckier! You truly a miracle we will never forget that. We love you bub ..keep being your ornery, playful little self! ❤️

Update on life

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Whew, life has been a whirlwind. Just a quick little update on just {life} in general. Two big things we have been working on and keeping to ourselves for the most part, but sharing because there is no such thing as too much prayer! 😊

1. Adoption – we are still moving forward and excited each and every day but also overwhelmed at times. Overwhelmed with paperwork, waiting, paperwork, waiting, home study, waiting, classes, waiting, more paperwork and waiting…see the trend? 😊 We all know the wait is worth it but prayers as we continue to go down this road are appreciated! I strongly feel there is a child out there waiting for us to scoop them up but we know there is a plan and we just have to wait for it, do our part and wait a little longer til the time is right! Some dear friends of ours were matched with a child and we are so so excited that they will be taking home their little one likely in August! Ah! So it is continued prayers, patience, hope and listening to God and His plan that keeps us going through the wait!

2. We did a little thing. We decided to go back to our doctor in KC and just get ourselves checked to see if we wanted to do IVF again in the future, that we could. We received fantastic news that we are more than healthy enough to do it again (if we choose to in the future), and let me be clear…we may not but we didn’t like not knowing if that door was still open or not. So again, we’d appreciate prayers for patience and discernment as we figure out if this is something we should try again. We unfortunately have no frozen embryos so we have to start from scratch, meaning all the shots, all the meds, all the hot flashes and injecting hormones and emotions all over again. It isn’t a decision we will take lightly.

Anyways, we love for prayers to be rained over us as we continue to balance life with Z, adoption, and determine if IVF will be in our future or not. Thank you friends for following us on our journey, your support and love has overwhelmed us! ❤️

8 Months

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Ah bubs..I start to tear up thinking you’re already 8 months old! ❤️ You have been growing so fast and blowing through “milestones” I can barely keep up!

The last couple of months you knew how to crawl but it was a slow/army crawl but overnight you’ve become a speed crawler, like we could enter you into the Olympics if it was an event!

You’re pulling up on everything, up-down-up-down and you want to walk with us everywhere. You have mastered walking in your walker, you just need to figure out how not to run into everything! We may actually master walking on our own this month, we shall see!

We went from 4 to 6 teeth this month!

We took our first family photos and you did it without crying one time. We were prepared for a meltdown because trust us, most kiddos have one before or during a photo session, but I think you’ve embraced this child of photographers life and went with it for us!

We added one more flight back from New Mexico in your 8th month, making it a total of 14 flights, 9 states and 1 country which is pretty cool you traveling fool!

You’re currently “too cool to smile” but you can’t hide it very well.

Buddy you are sleeping through the night (woohoo!). Thanks to a few mom friends, we got through a little tough phase, and now you are sleeping through the night, from 7:30-5 am, but once 5 am hits you’re awake and back to your wild man lifestyle. We’re still working on this nap life but I don’t see that happening anytime soon. You do good, as long as someone is napping with you, which I’ll just soak that in as long as I can.

You’re a bit of a daredevil, loving to “fall” and letting us catch you, pulling yourself up on questionable things, and balancing yourself on dad’s hand!

You have gone to your first wedding (Uncle Will & Aunt Whit’s) and you’ve had your first sleepover at the house with Liam!

Dancing is your jam and doing the “monster face” has become a daily thing (my favorite).

We are still working on a few signs like “milk” & “more” but we haven’t quite figured those out yet!

Bub – we love you more than you possibly could imagine. You have made this parenting thing a breeze (so tough, but you’ve made it so enjoyable that we forget the tough moments). We can’t wait to see what the future holds and where we adventure to next! Keep on growing little man! ❤️

7 Months

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Well, sweet little man you are growing up way too fast!! You keep us on our toes and before long you’ll be running around the house and we won’t be able to keep up!

A few changes you’ve gone through:

  • You’ve grown so much – height and weight, like are you really only 7 months old or are you really not 1 and we just skipped some months?
  • You are saying mama and dada – not always when we ask you to but you are definitely saying them.
  • Starting to wave!
  • Demanding food (but in a super cute way by smiling and slapping your hand on the table) -I am sure I’ll regret teaching you this one day but for now it’s ridiculously adorable.
  • Crawling more, you have been army crawling for awhile now but finally pushing up on your arms more. Who knew someone could army crawl that fast!
  • We have gone from 2 teeth to 4!
  • Just recently you’ve allowed us to actually put you down for naps, instead of holding you through each one – this is still bittersweet for me. I’ll hold you any day bub.
  • Recognizing your friends!
  • Interacting with new people (especially littles), before you would just look at little ones and continue on your own business but now you engage & play!
  • Pulling yourself up and trying to stand (with a little assistance)

Things you still love:

  • You still are very much in love with your Johnny Jumper and want to “Jump Around” House of Pain style every day.
  • Loving bath time and splashing so much it looks like I took a bath by the end of it.
  • Food, especially chicken, it is your current favorite!
  • Pulling on your mom’s hair & your Dad’s beard
  • Puppy cuddles!

Things you’re over:

  • The Nose Frida – you would much rather suffer through the congestion.
  • Diaper & clothe changes – haha, you just don’t understand why you need these things and we have to burn about 300 calories per diaper change.
  • Sleeping at night, we still haven’t mastered this one but teething hasn’t helped you a ton. We will get it though!

You have spent your first bro night with your dad and you both survived, I on the other hand barely survived because it was my first night away from you! You also have spent the entire day away from us and with your nanny (coolest nanny ever) and you didn’t even bat an eye! We took 2 plane rides without dad – you were the best baby I could ask for too! Taken a boat ride with Grandma & Grandpa Neighbors and enjoyed the pool at Grandma & Grandpa Vinsons! We’ve traveled to another state, New Mexico and taken your 10th flight to get there! ❤️

So many more adventures are in store for us and I wouldn’t want to spend these new adventures with anyone else!

6 Months

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Here we are baby boy, you’re 6 months old! This month we had the opportunity to dedicate you at Fellowship Fayetteville and our heart is overflowing with a church family that will pray over you throughout your life! You are one blessed baby boy to have so many people caring and praying for you!

There are so many things you’ve accomplished within the last month that I can’t even keep up with you some days. You can wiggle and half crawl/half army crawl across the living room to your favorite pups, a puzzle or just a water bottle because those seem to be the most interesting things at the moment!

Other things you love:

  • Your nanny 😍
  • Anything you can put in your mouth
  • Jumping to House of Pain’s “Jump Around” or really any song for that matter
  • Cell phones or anything that glows
  • Music – without words, including the Office theme song 😂
  • Being outside
  • Bubbles – who knew bubbles would be that funny
  • Pulling mama’s hair out
  • Talking or screaming
  • Playing zombie – Because that’s how we play in our household

Accomplishments:

  • Late night partying (aka getting up after mom and dad put you to bed)
  • Fitting your whole fist in your mouth
  • Almost crawling – give it 2 more weeks and you’ll be grooving everywhere.
  • Sitting up
  • Grabbing things, well, everything in sight
  • Sweet potatoes & avocados
  • Being the cutest little boy at 4 am
  • Playing with friends our age

What we think you may be someday based on all your skills at the moment:

  • Rock Climber – you will literally try to climb anything.
  • Rapper – You do babble pretty quickly & love music
  • Professional Puppy Player – you get it from your mama
  • Motivational Speaker or something that allows you to talk to people – pretty sure you will have a voice, where a microphone is not needed
  • Escape Artist – Just change his diaper once and you’ll understand

Things we plan to work on for next month:

  • Trying new foods besides sweet potatoes & avocados!
  • Sleeping. Sleeping is going to be a high priority in what we work on this month.
  • Pulling ourselves up
  • Learning to play on the big piano!
  • Fitting not just the fist, but also adding the foot to the mouth 😂
  • Swimming
  • Saying mama – maybe wishful thinking but I hope your first words are mama or puppy and I would be thrilled!

Days with you are filled with so much joy and happiness than you can imagine. We may be running on caffiene and a few minutes of sleep here or there, but you are beyond worth it. We can’t believe it’s been 6 months since you’ve come into this world and we were finally able to hold you. Love you little man, more than you can imagine!

If you’re following our journey and would love to pray for Baby Z, we would love prayers for good sleep for all of us and most importantly his health as he continues to grow, venturing to different vaccines and lastly just safety for this daredevil lifestyle he lives. ❤️

Infertility from Dad’s Point of View

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Chasnie has been asking me forever to write a blog post to add to this amazing project of hers and everytime she asks, I just tell her I plan to but I’m not sure what to write. In reality, I still have no idea what to write because at the end of the day, I don’t feel like I had to do much. Losing an unborn child is tough, losing multiple children is very tough, but it’s so much harder for the mom to go through. I didn’t know what it felt like to be carrying a child and for all of a sudden to just feel emptyness. I didn’t have to undergo multiple surgeries and have parts of my body removed. I didn’t have to deal with the pain of a ruptured tube and internal bleeding. All I did was be present, sit in the waiting room, pray for her safety, and simply keep family and friends up to date on the progress.

When it came to the actual process of IVF, here are just a handful of things I didn’t have to go through:

  • I didn’t have to take medication after medication or injection after injection.
  • I didn’t have to alter my lifestyle in an effort to increase the odds of getting pregnant.
  • I didn’t have to deal with mood swings, hot flashes and a changing body.
  • I didn’t have to undergo the actual act of childbirth!!
  • I didn’t need to, and 5+ months later, still do not have to deal with nursing, pumping, and planning my day around making sure Zayden can eat.

When he cries because he is hungry, it’s always her job to come to the rescue. All I can do is change diapers, get Chasnie what she needs, and try and make her difficult and tiresome job a little less strenuous. Even on my best of days I don’t even do the best job at this. Trust me, when Zayden gets hangry at 2am, it’s extremely easy to roll over and let her handle everything, but making myself wake up with her so I can change a dirty diaper and get her a glass of water while she gets ready to feed him, is the least I can do. And some nights even that is too difficult, so I can’t even imagine having to stay up for at least another hour. Of course, I have offered to stay up with him during a sleepless night, so she can (maybe) snag a couple of extra minutes to herself. But if I am being honest, Zayden at 4am is the most adorable thing you will ever see, so even then I’m getting the better end of the deal! I know in the long run our tasks will change and we’ll be able to share tasks more evenly. But at this point, I feel like my “job” as a dad is the easy end of the deal.

If you’re a guy getting ready to go through the IVF process, get ready to feel a little helpless and worthless. If you’re a dad that has been through the process, let’s take a moment to remember how much we didn’t have to endure in order to receive one of the greatest gifts of all time! As the days go by and life moves on, it’s easy to forget the struggle and sleepless nights. Even a mere 5 months after having Z, it’s easy to forget what it took to get where we are. And now I can’t imagine life any other way than having him here, with us.

And while I’m thinking about it: Chasnie, you are a rockstar. You have made sacrifices I will never comprehend, and for you they don’t even register as a sacrifice. You have always done whatever it is Zayden needs, without hesitation. You are a mother that all others should strive to be. God made you to be an amazing mom and that’s exactly what you have become. I will forever be grateful for what you have endured and your perseverance. I’m so proud to call you my wife and mother of my child. You are and always will be appreciated and loved!

-Jason, the spouse of the strongest woman ever

For more about our infertility journey or Chasnie’s Project take a few minutes for her video!