I don’t feel like writing today..but forcing myself, because I have a lot of items swirling in my head. It helps me personally to address my concerns to the interwebs of the world or whoever wants to read and get it out of my head space.  Also, I almost always feel guilty blogging nowadays, because I should be playing with the kids or reading a book with them in lieu of over here typing away not paying attention to them fully. It’s a weird mom guilt world out there, and I’m just living in it.

ANYWAYS, let’s start off with all the good things, then I’ll get to the rest…

Ryken – she is 22 months old this month and I just can’t wrap my head around her turning 2.  How and when did this happen?  I feel kind of sad, she’s only know this pandemic world, but she’s also been filled with a less full schedule of mom and dad being gone and more creativity at home. YES, we can go and travel and we did last month.  However, limitations and just wanting to stay healthy for us and others plays a big factor on what we do and don’t do. Like everyone else I’m sure, pre-covid, a simple runny nose wouldn’t have stopped me from going on a trip.  Now, post-covid world, I’m taking a test a day prior to us leaving the country to make sure we aren’t positive and will be A. getting others sick, and B. getting quarantined somewhere outside our home.  I says all this, and we went to Mexico last month and we did not have a negative test upon returning to the US, but along the way home in the airport or somewhere, we did all catch covid and were quarantined at home for a bit.  We all had mild cases in the big scheme of things with migraine-like headaches, fevers, etc but the kids just ate lots of popsicles and we upped the vitamins recommended and moved on.  This is a good thing, we had not gotten it and it was almost a breath of fresh air to just all get it at the same time and get over it.  I know not everyone is that fortunate, so we were counting our blessings for sure!

Back to Ryken – even in this covid world, she is still the light she was when she arrived on 04/06/2020.  And when I say light…SHE IS A BURST of light, like a firecracker but not just any firecracker – the commercial type ones that thousands of people go to watch. She gets your attention and she isn’t afraid of what you may think (unless you hurt her feelings by telling her no, then she does care what you think). Ha.  In all seriousness, she is such a sweet little girl and so, so ornery at the same time.  She can fool you with a quick grin and sweet giggle, so you have to be on your toes.  She not only gives Jason and I a run for our money, she does Zayden as well.  She still loves all the animals, anything and everything that even resembles an animal, she instantly loves it and of course has about 15 stuffed animals she likes to play with these days.  And she loves her baby dolls.  Every morning she asks where her baby is, and goes and wraps her up in a wash cloth, because I have yet to get her any baby doll blankets lol.  It’s pretty entertaining to watch.  I never really talk about how smart she is, I know with Zayden he was so book smart and LOVED to learn at a really early age.  She’s not really into doing workbooks or puzzles, learning colors or numbers like Zayden was, but she has learned those things.  And she is such a smart little girl.  She has a bit of a country accent (oops, she got that one from me), and some times I can’t always tell what she’s saying.  For example, she drew a picture and said it was a BAIL, mom it’s a BAIL, a BAIL.  I couldn’t figure it out and it looked like a triangle and I was still drawing a blank.  Finally, she sighs, rolls her eyes and says, “Ding dong, ding dong.”  A BELL!  A bell, yes, that IS a bell!  When Zayden was her age, he would just say the word over and over and get frustrated with me until I was able to distract him to something else OR I was able to figure it out.  Ryken wants me to figure it out and explores other ways that just saying it over and over til I get it.  It’s such a small thing but so funny how their minds work and work so differently. 

Onto my sweet boy, he’s still a sweetheart and loves his friends and cousins so much!  And when we pray for someone, he comes back a few days later and asks me how he/she is doing, like he’s really listening and involved in the prayers.  Sometimes I don’t know how much he hears, but he seems to hear and take in more than I think most days. We had a friend in the hospital with covid, pneumonia, lung damage, etc, etc, etc, for about 3 or maybe even 4 months and we prayed for this man a ton.  Zayden would ask to pray for him about every other day and we sent him a picture we colored to hopefully make his hospital room a little brighter.  Praise God he was able to come home YESTERDAY, so that was exciting to hear and Zayden thought that was pretty cool he got to leave the hospital when we weren’t sure if he would be able to or not.  Zayden has become a gamer. Ha, not that we love to do a lot of video games but it happens and I don’t even know how to play in the world he’s created, but he does and thankfully daddy does and gets roped into it too. He still loves soccer and plans to play in the spring, and he loves to keep us on our toes. I’m ALWAYS learning new things from him or googling things that he needs to know the answers to. Ha, anything about volcanoes, I now probably know the answer to.  Ask away, I got you and if not I’ll refer to Zayden because he does.

Baby V.  She doesn’t have a name yet, and we think we’ll let Ryken choose (if you remember Zayden got to choose Ryken).  However, not fully sure we can trust Ryken with this but we’ll give her a few to choose from and hope for the best!  If all else fails, mommy gets final say in the hospital. Ha, and I’ll let her choose the middle name.  If you’ve been around this ornery girl, you know what I mean.  Baby V is growing like she should be and her anatomy scan went well, with the exception of one scare (for me, they say it could be nothing but there’s always a chance so of course for any mom it is a scare).  Anyways, yesterday, we had our anatomy scan and all seemed well, but there’s a 1% chance in all pregnancies to have a 2 vessel cord in lieu of 3 vessel cord.  I never even knew it was a thing and of course, I have a 2-vessel cord.  Like I said, it may amount to nothing, but the biggest concern is making sure baby grows properly, specifically the kidneys.  If you’re interested, I can tell you more about what I know but google can tell you a few things as well.  Apparently, this is more common in white women over 25-check, check, multiple pregnancy (i.e. twins)-check, as we started this pregnancy with vanishing twin, and being pregnant with a girl-check, another item is high blood sugar, which I’ve never experienced, but will be ensuring my diet doesn’t allow that for the remainder of pregnancy (because who doesn’t need to cut out some sugar).  What does this mean?  Maybe nothing, or maybe that sweet girl has restricted or limited blood flow and could slow her growth.  Per several things I’ve read online (legitimate sources, not googling to scare myself but to be informed).   “2-3 out of 10 single umbilical artery pregnancies have health problems, including heart, kidney or digestion problems with genetic conditions.” 

SO, there’s that.  Like I said, so far she’s growing as she said and right on 20 weeks like I am. She doesn’t kick a ton but she does alligator rolls most of the day (if that tells us anything about her personality already) and there’s nothing we can really do.  Stressing about it isn’t going to get us anywhere, but praying about it and lifting her up will.  I say this all, but I will admit I found this out yesterday morning and the second I had a moment to myself I cried, a lot.  I thought, I should pray about this but I was a little too ticked off to.  How ridiculous to hear me say that BUT it’s the truth.  I was pissed.  I knew deep down we’ve had 2 easy pregnancies, some sickness here and there but overall it was a really easy pregnancy (once we got pregnant) and very easy delivery and recovery.  WHAT ARE THE CHANCES that we’d make it 3 easy pregnancies. I knew that, but I also have heard, oh your body has done this before, it’ll be a breeze this time.  Well, wake up call to Chasnie – your plans are not His plans.  Anyways, finally prayed last night about baby girl and about giving it to Him in lieu of stewing on it, stressing about it, and thinking the worst could happen.  In the end, whatever were to happen, we have a perfect little girl that is on track and growing fine right now.  She will be perfect no matter if there is a “defect” or not.  (I say in quotations “defect” as a medical term).  However, as a parent, your first inclination and probably inclination for life is you want your child healthy and to have a blessed life without complications, so of course, my first thought is to be upset, mad, worried, sad…and feel whatever I’m feeling right now.  But I’m fully aware, she will be perfect however she is, in the 2-3 chance out of 10 that physically she is not, she still is in our eyes and His eyes.  {Mini Rant: Some may read this as me being over the top, honestly I don’t even care anymore.  I’ve heard enough negative things over the years of IVF journey that it doesn’t seem to phase me and my thoughts.}  But this is how I process my fears, worries, and concerns.  It helps me get it out of my head and move forward and I absolutely believe in the power of prayer and I know some reading will lift her up to be a healthy sweet baby we get to meet in June!

Eh, I told you I didn’t want to write today but knew I needed to.  And I don’t exactly want to end on a mini rant (ha) so, I’m going to end on our trip to Mexico.  I mean, my blog has always been all over the place with my ADD writing….so why not finish strong here. 😊 

We got to take a little family trip (minus my sister’s family) to Puerto Vallarta.  It was Zayden’s second time in Mexico and Ryken’s first!  The 4 cousins had so much fun playing with each other, building sand castles, looking for crabs and shells, and just getting to hang out in the SUN somewhere.  It was such a nice little break from every day world and we thankfully felt really good and safe about traveling  and all stayed healthy while we were there. We had such an awesome view from our room that all of us were surprised to have and ate some delicious food and drinks.  Zayden’s favorite thing to do was probably swim up to the bar and order a “Virgin Apina Coladas” Virgin Pina Colada if you couldn’t figure it out.  And Ryken wasn’t real sure about the sand in her toes, but ended up enjoying building sand castles aka mounds of sand then stomping on them.  Travelling to and from was a little different than it used to be, but managed and really enjoyed the trip!  Thankful for our last out of the US trip before baby V comes!  Here’s to more adventures with 3 babies.